How to talk so kids will listen...
Parenting Books & Gurus That Changed the Game
Dang, parenting is hard. And is it just me who sometimes wonders: what flavour of trauma am I unknowingly passing on?
I've spent a LOT of time trying to pick up the skills and hacks, and science backed approaches to bring my best game. And here are a few of the resources that helped.
1. How to talk so kids will listen, and listen so kids will talk
If I could recommend just one parenting resource, it would be How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve given it or suggested it. It breaks parenting down into simple, do-able strategies.
If you want to go a step further, try Siblings Without Rivalry by the same authors. Thanks to this, my girls (mostly) get on brilliantly.
2. Janet Lansbury
Just before baby number three arrived, I discovered Janet Lansbury — and she changed my whole approach. She blends the gentleness of 'natural' parenting with firm, respectful boundaries.
For example: instead of rushing in to fix every problem (“Say sorry! Give it back!”), she encourages you to stay calm and narrate what’s happening. “You’re both holding the truck. You both want a turn.” It sounds simple, but this shift helps kids feel heard and learn to work through things with your support — not your control.
3. Dr Becky (Good Inside)
You’ve probably seen Dr Becky on Instagram. Her approach is all about connection and emotional regulation — both your child’s and your own. She doesn’t shy away from the uncomfortable stuff, and she’ll help you ease some of that inevitable parent guilt. Her posts are short, helpful, and easy to share with your co-parent *wink.
4. Amy McCready (Positive Parenting Solutions)
During lockdown — when we actually had the time (remember that?) — we did a full parenting course with Amy McCready. It was brilliant, especially since my partner and I come from very different parenting backgrounds. The course gave us shared language, aligned goals, and so many practical tips (plus helpful role plays — even if you cringe at first).
Side note: I loved her list of age-appropriate household contributions - which you can see here.
So, even with all of the learning, still challenging, but always good to confirm your approach makes sense. Deep breaths, deep breaths.